Rating

This blog was rated "R" for the Year of 2007.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Am I the Only One?

T-Bone and I have engaged in this conversation on more than one occasion, and I always walk away from it feeling like I may just be a little more off my rocker than I thought I was when it started. Last night, before he left for work, we got into this conversation again, and I'm hoping that someone out there, anyone out there, has the same thing happen to them so that I don't feel so.. alone.
I have voices in my head. Not voices that speak up and tell me to hurt someone, or tell me to do something stupid, or anything equally psychotic. These voices are all versions of me, but for some reason, I have a TON of them.
There's the me that occurs whenever I have a normal thought, or when I'm thinking about what I want to come out of my mouth. That's fine, I guess. Everyone has this version residing in them, it's what makes us function.
On top of that voice, I have a ton of others. They all sound different, but they still sound like me (to me anyway). I will be having a clear, lucid thought process going on about something I'm thinking, or want to say, or want to do, or just memories. And in barges another voice, while the first continues. I can concentrate on, and understand, both at the same time. While the one may be rambling on about bills that have to be paid and how it's going to get done, the other will go off on a tangent about how I should stop being so lazy, and finish up the chores that I have around the house.
They don't always contradict each other in terms of what each is bringing to the table. One can be adding a whole list of numbers together from a sheet of paper, and the other will break in with some memory of T-Bone and I.
T-Bone, along with every other person I have talked to about this, says that he only has the one voice, and that he never has 2 things going on at once. It isn't like my mind is on autopilot, like where I'm able to do 40 sit-ups (which I can't, just for the record) exactly every time, while focusing on the tasks that I have to complete for the day. Anyone can do that. I can be doing those 40 sit-ups (which, again, I really can't do), budgeting my finances for the week, preparing a menu for the next week, thinking about what I have to do around the house for the day, mentally making a grocery list, and pine away for T-Bone all at the same time.
Sometimes, I like to think that I must have some sort of a super brain to be able to do all of this at once. Just to make a point, at this very moment I'm mentally writing this blog 3 lines ahead of where I'm actually typing (so I have one voice reading what is being typed, the other thinking about what will be typed), I'm going over a conversation in my head that I'm having with a friend in messenger, and thinking about things that I want to bring up for us to chat about, mentally thinking of all the things I want to do on other web sites, and chastising myself for not going to bed at a decent hour, or doing work around the house that should have been finished by now.
Is it really a wonder that 99 nights out of 100, I have a hard time falling asleep? Maybe that's why I have taken to not going to bed until I absolutely can't keep my eyes open anymore. I just don't like dealing with having to shut all of those voices out so that I can fall into a coma.
So, back to the topic of this post, am I the only one? I understand that people multi-task all of the time, I'm one of those people. But I think that my brain has crossed the lines of being in overdrive, and have stepped into the realm of warp speed!

3 Feedback:

sheley2 said...

Ummmm...Yeah. Qould it be sad if I told you I had to stop and actually think " Do I have only one voice in my head or a shit load?" My conclusion is what really scares me....It is that I am so freakin busy and have so many things going on and to do lists and worries and hopes and happy thoughts that I honestly can not for he life of me think of a time when I was thinking in my head and remember if I heard one voice or more......Ok yes that is sad. I can tell you I do multi task something fierce and as you know I jump around from thing to thing with ease, so who knows. I also know that I often will be thinking of something I wished I said, or a incident that occured already and it plays out in my head like I am watching a movie. So maybe I too am crazy....

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Actually, I do the same thing and yeah I think it makes us a little crazy...but knowing that I am not the only one makes me feel like I am in good company.

Sarah is Ok said...

I didn't get the voices until I had kids. Now they're all over the place. Sometimes the one that tells me to jump in the shower real quick gets lost in the other more powerful voices.